NOW WHAT?

Whenever I start to really hate my job (which is all the time), I find it helpful to remember that at least I’m not Scott McClellan, who today resigned as White House spokesman.

I mean, what an awful job he had. Trying to make nonsense sound like profundity, keeping a straight face while telling whoppers the size of blue whales, having to be polite to guys like David Gregory, who (to his credit) pounds on him daily like he was an un-tender steak. How do you do that for as long as he has done it? If that guy doesn’t drink heavily, I’ll eat your metaphorical hat.

And so now, he has to go back to a normal life, where he doesn’t have to dissemble on command. Imagine the transition. Being able to answer questions instead of evade them, being able to tell the truth as a default reaction, like normal people do. I wonder if he’ll be able to do it.

“More iced tea, sir?”

“We’ve consistently been on the record as supporting iced tea as a lunchtime beverage and our position has not changed. For years iced tea has been a favorite beverage not only for the United States, but for many of our allies . . . . um, sorry, yes, more iced tea, please.”

Don’t you know people are hiding in their cubicles all around Pennsylvania Avenue, just praying they’re not the next person to have to take that gig.

God bless you, Mr. McClellan, and welcome back to the real world. Now go write your book, so you can retire in style.

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