The DaveTown Oklahoma Voter’s Guide

President: I’m sorry, but no matter what you think of George Bush, John Kerry is simply one of the worst human beings to ever run for the office, and there is no way in the world, apart from a direct and unequivocal command from God himself (which, given Kerry�s record of supporting the killing of fetal human beings, is unlikely) that I can vote for him. So, it’s Bush by default. Normally I�d vote for the Libertarian candidate out of protest, but the 2000 election results scared me into never wasting a vote ever again. Of course, the odds of Kerry taking Oklahoma are roughly the same as that of the Red Sox . . . er . . . ummm . . . the CUBS winning the World Series.

U.S. Senate: Both Brad Carson and Tom Coburn seem incapable of telling the truth. Not just unwilling, but from the evidence I’ve seen, actually incapable. I will vote for neither of these [adjective deleted because I just remembered this is a family blog]. If there’s a Libertarian candidate, I�ll vote for him or her. If not, my ballot stays blank on this one. It’s times like this that I really wish there was a “none of the above” choice on the ballot, with the consequence that if neither candidate can outpoll “none of the above” the office stays empty until the next election.

State Question 705 and 706: This is the lottery question again. I’m torn. While I have no objection to a lottery, I find it repellant that the State of Oklahoma outlaws some forms of gambling while simultaneously allowing (and sponging off of) others. The law requires some proceeds to go to education. You’d think this would cinch it for me, as an educator; the only problem is that I have no hopes whatsoever that any of this money will be spent wisely or prudently. I have nothing but contempt for the way public schools are run in Oklahoma, so why give them more money? It’s not like any of it is going to go towards raising teacher salaries to a decent level. Even if it was, why shouldn’t the taxpayers be forced to pony up directly to do the right thing? Why add one more back-door tax? If you want public schools, fund them. If you’re not willing to fund them, privatize. I say vote no, just to be contrarian. As P.J. O’Rourke once said, giving money to politicians is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys. No good can come of it.

State Question 711: This defines marriage as a union between one man and one woman. Well, duh, of course it is. Do we need to enshrine that fact into our constitution? Sadly, it looks that way. Otherwise the courts will do the opposite. This is not a hate crime, by the way, to believe that marriage is between a man and a woman. It’s common sense. If you choose to live with your same-sex partner, do so in freedom and peace, it’s nobody’s business if you do. If you want to say you’re married, great, if you want to have a ceremony, enjoy. But don’t expect the state to rubber stamp your personal preference and force it on everyone else. You can’t change the plain meaning of a word, and the constant practice of nearly every civilization known to history, simply because it fits your fancy. I love you, I wish you happiness, but that’s the hard truth.

State Question 712: This is a gambling compact between the State and the Indian Tribes. I oppose this measure, not because I oppose Tribal gaming, but because I support it. I want the every Tribe in this State to build as many casinos as they want. I want them to make millions and millions of dollars from them. And I don’t want the State of Oklahoma to see one thin dime from any of it. All this measure does is cut the legislature in on the gambling pie. No pie for them, I say.

State Question 713: This adds a tax of 80 cents to every pack of cigarettes, ostensibly to fund “health care” in Oklahoma. Please, go foist this on someone else. We’re going to scapegoat smokers and make them pay for increased government control of the health care system? Does anyone honestly believe smokers are the cause of the problems with our health care system? Does anyone honestly believe the state is going to spend this money wisely, honestly, or prudently? Give me a break.

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