HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME

So, I turned 40 today.I’m a bit melancholy about it, to be frank (though I’m a depressive by nature, so melancholy is actually a step up in mood for me). I used to have a coffee mug that read “I’m 30, it seems like I should have money by now”. I kinda feel like that today, although I’d replace money with “a family”. I’ve spent 12 years teaching, so I know my life hasn’t been a waste, but I also feel strongly that I’m a big bundle of unfulfilled promise.

I’m not unaware of the good things in my life. Friends, health, a free country to live in, lots more televised soccer than when I was a younger man; all the important things. Yet, despite my recognition of these truths, I feel kinda empty and adrift most of the time.

I dunno. I had a whole long essay I wrote in longhand that I was going to transcribe and post, but you don’t want to hear all that. I’m 40; I’ve got friends, a job, and if you’ve seen me lately, you KNOW I haven’t missed any meals recently. So instead of bitching about my hard luck life, I’ll just thank all you good folks who sent greetings and tell you and everyone else I know that I love you all very much, and the fact that you all put up with me and love me regardless of my, um, idiosyncracies (be nice, it’s my birfday) amazes me and proves to me that there is a God.

But next year, seriously, send cash, m’kay?

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